I miss my imagination...

Now, I'd say I'm a pretty imaginative person.

But I went for a walk today, feeling very sentimental, and in my little full moon bubble, heading for the beach, and I had this surge of regression into the imagination I had as a child. For a split second, in my mind, I was no longer myself, but a mermaid who had been captured to live on the land, and I was going to the beach to dip my toes in the water to remind myself of the place I longed to go back to....

And then, just as quickly as it was there, it was gone, and I was me again. I strained to get it back, to get lost in that moment again, but my silly adult brain kept butting in and I couldn't keep the story going.

When I was little, I used to live in those kind of stories. I didn't have a TV, or any electricity for that matter, so it was harder to get distracted, but I remember spending hours, even days, immersed in some kind of imaginary scenario. Some of them went for years, and every time I was on my own, I'd know exactly where I was 'up to', I had several ongoing imaginary characters that would pop in and out, and certain places at our house became irrelevant to their actual purposes, but became parts of my made up world. For example, I remember my trampoline was a flying contraption, which I flew around in and looked down upon the whole world, but when I climbed through one of the corner holes, that was a porthole to the real world....And my bath was a fresh water stream with a waterfall, and I was a lone water-nymph who lived there, disappearing behind the waterfall when people came there to swim.

But now, I can't even remember half of the characters and scenarios I used to live out every day when I was little, If I strain really hard, I can sometimes get tiny glimpses of them, but they slip away so easily. I would give anything to be able to have that imagination again, and If I ever have children, I think I'm going to have to take our lives back to simplicity, so that they can experience the wonder of a brain which is completely self-sufficient when it comes to entertaining themselves.

It's full moon. I'm feeling extremely nostalgic.

Mind Dump!

My little brain is a hearty chunky vegetable minestrone soup at the moment, if you get that metaphor...I probably could have gone for a better one, but there's something about visualizing the inside of my head as some kind of salty steaming veggie chunk-fest that gets me going...

But there's a little man swimming around in the soup, and due to its thick, gloopy chunkiness and high temperature, he's getting a little weary, so to prevent him from drowning I'm going to get my big brain spoon and scoop some chunks out so he can paddle with ease. Ok. I'm letting go of the metaphor now. Sorry.

Mind Dump #1: "Something needs to change"
And I actually have no Idea what it is. It could be something so simple, like, hacking away at my hair and rocking the 'Are-you-a-lesbian-or-are-you-just-from-freo-or-perhaps-you-are-both-but-we-shall-never-truly-know" Hairstyle, or...it could be anything on the grey scale between that and skipping the country. For now, my way of dealing with the restlessness that comes with not knowing what to do with myself, is to begin sewing ridiculous little cravats on to all of my old shirts. Works a dream, but I don't have a lot of shirts, so I might have to deal with the actual issue at some point.

Mind Dump #2: "I'm a rampant horny bitch but I'm also very picky and have an extremely hard-to-identify sexuality"...
These three things are not very conducive to one and other. Also, I miss having friends who I can just make out with. I used to have a few of those...*reminisces* ah, those were the simple days. (well, in actual fact, it wasn't that simple, it tended to get slightly confusing and eventually we all forgot how to exist within mainstream society's rules on 'how to be platonically affectionate' - but it sure was fun.)

Mind Dump #3: "Things I tell myself I'm going to do, but never actually do"
Save money to go traveling. Maintain enough cleanliness in my house so as not to illicit those heavy sighs from my housemates that I can hear from the other room. Dance every day. Not eat things with wheat in them. Fix bike and ride it. Create hilarious work out regime, make video, sell to the people, get bigger than Zumba. Make up awesome new Burlesque acts, practice them, make them actually good.

Mind Dump #4: "I'm actually bursting with love"
Which can actually be annoying when theres nowhere for it to go and you just wanna scream it from a rooftop. So here goes. *climbs on to rooftop, clears throat* TO ALL OF THE AMAZING PEOPLE IN MY LIFE - THE FAIRIES, MY WIVES, MY BOSSES, MY BROTHER, PEOPLE WHO CRAZY DANCE WITH ME IN PUBLIC, PEOPLE WHO PUT UP WITH MY WHINGING, PEOPLE WHO COME AND WATCH MY SHOWS, MY LONG TIME FRIENDS WHO I NEVER SEE ANYMORE, THE FRIENDS WHO FORCE ME TO DO THINGS THAT SCARE ME, (Ok...no more caps lock, you get the idea, I'm screaming from a rooftop.) I really have more things to be happy about than complain about. So I guess I'm going to leave it there. On a high, positive note.

Aghh fuck, my back really hurts.
Oh. Oops. ruined the positive ending.
You win some - You lose some. My little man can swim a bit better now.